hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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