I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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