nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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