i barfeds in our rink
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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