I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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