So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
