She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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