I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
