Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
