Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
