Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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