He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize