i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
