Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
