Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
