hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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