if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
