hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my liver is dry heaving
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
