I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
