Can Purell be used as lube?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
