I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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