Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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