Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
