Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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