well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I need water and some morals
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
