i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
