I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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