alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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