dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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