Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
