NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
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Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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