Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just cropdusted the office
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
