Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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