make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
