Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
