We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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