Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
