All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
soo... how was my night?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
