They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
