kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
