i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
