How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
