Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
