also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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