I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
