But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.