there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
