i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
