so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize