I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
