so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize