16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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