just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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