we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
