if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize